Monday, April 15, 2013

Extreme times, extreme measures...

Over the weekend, I finally hit my "I am sick and tired of being out of shape" low point.  I'm not sure why - I keep looking at the calendar and realizing my goal of going on vacation and not running from the camera, sitting on the beach covered up in a mumu is slipping away.  

I scheduled an appt on Saturday with a medically supervised weight loss clinic seriously 1 mile from my front door.  I looked them up on the web and once I saw they support pharmaceutical HCG - I decided.  I have lost and gained the same damn 10 lbs all freaking year.  Enough - I don't care WHAT I have to do...I am doing this for myself.  I didn't even tell my husband.

My appt was this morning.  They took me through a variety of should go to show desperation that I am actually going to do daily injections of HCG.  I HATE needles but I cannot keep doing what I am doing. I research weight loss methods like crazy so I knew the background behind HCG (it has been around since the 50's and is definitely not new or trendy).  I guess between the requirement to be under a Doctor's care, the expense and the fact that this is HARD and requires a VERY low calorie diet (500 calories) = less popular.  They said I can expect to lose between 25-35 lbs during this 30 day round.  Apparently, I have the body type that generally reacts very well to HCG (i.e.  pear).  I honestly cannot wrap my head around losing that much weight in a month.  

I know a lot of people DO not agree with this path but given that I lost a significant amount of weight about 10 years ago and kept it off for years...I know I can do it again.  Once I am at goal I will draw a "line in the sand" to help keep me in check.  I am not sure how many people I will even tell because at the end of the day, I feel embarrassed that I can't get my shit together on my own and that I need help.  

So here's what they did today.  They did a full blood workup (results to follow), weighed me, measured me, and then put me on this machine that was the most amazing thing I have seen in awhile.

After a minute or so you get one of these...for the record, this is from their website and is not my report.  ;)

It shows you exactly where you fat stores are so they can accurately tell each visit where you are losing the fat and ensure you are not losing muscle.  Trivia - I have a disgusting amount of fat and it says I have 7% MORE body fat % (NOT LBS) than my withings scale showed.  Throat punch!

So - I got a Lipo/B12 shot and my first hcg shot today.  They also gave me an appetite suppressant to use if I need it.  So, here I go for a 30 day round.  The original protocol supported a 40 day round but they do not allow that.  I got back next Monday and will get my 23 day supply and go to daily injections.  I wish I would have asked why I can't just do an injection every week when I go for a check up and I didnt think about it.

I told my husband after.  He asked me why I didnt tell him and was very supportive when I told him I was embarrassed and feeling defeated since I haven't been able to do it on my own.  He said "How can I best support you"...Wow.  Made my day.

I feel pretty jittery today - I have done B12 shots before in support of weight loss so I expected that.  Not hungry at all but made myself eat a spinach salad with 2 oz of grilled chicken.

Hindsight, I picked a crappy week to start (KICKING myself that I didnt do this last month) but I will deal.  I am swinging between thoughts of excitement and that this might be the craziest thing I have ever done.  Remains to be seen.

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