Sunday, April 28, 2013

My how some things change!

Am on my way to a conference (for work)....typically I would hit the sky club and have a glass (or two) before boarding, then grab a carbalicious wrap before boarding.

Well, NOT today! I packed all my crap (including my trusty withings scale and HCG rx and my syringes, vitamins, fat burners, walden farms dressing, an "emergency pack" if I can't find anything to eat)....seriously worse than traveling with a toddler!

But, I went to the Skyclub (clean place to swizzle before getting on the plane). Then grabbed 2 apples, some celery and a small pack of hummus. Shoved me into my bag like a squirrel getting ready for winter!! The dude sitting next to me looked at me like I was a lunatic but whatev... Glad I have it now....I figured they'd at least have a salad. But...NO. Damn you Delta. Not a single healthy option to eat. Nice.

Side note- I was down another 1.4 this morning! Sweet!! Counting the days til I hit 20 lbs lost!!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Business Travel Stress

I am heading out to San Diego for a conference tomorrow.  Seriously kind of freaking out.


a) 4 days of seriously reduced ability to control my environment

b) an atmosphere of overindulging in food and of course adult beverages (hey, my company is's tradition!)

c) I don't trust myself yet

I have packed my hcg (and rx to allow it and my needles) and snacks, and green tea, and lemons...if my carryon bag closed it will be a MIRACLE!


On the plus side, I have some good friends going with AND I am staying at the Hotel Del!!

Kind of super pumped about that!

Plus #2 - we have a private event at Sea World...I love me some Shamu...will take pics!

Side note - I am only down another .4 from yesterday but am losing inches like crazy.  Am going nuts shopping my closet!  So much fun!!

I will try to post from SD but no guarantees!

Friday, April 26, 2013


You know moments of clarity come at the weirdest time and the weirdest of ways sometimes!

I had my weekly checkin early since I am heading out of town on Sunday for business.  I was already bummed since I am only down 1.7 this week on my scale.  Weigh in at the Dr and I am only down 1 lb on their scale.  womp womp.

The nurse sees the look on my face (kinda like a small girl who lost her puppy or something equally as pathetic).  

She started looking through my file and said tell me about the last few months and what you have been doing.  I tell her the readers digest - lose great for a week hit a stall for a few days and then decide pizza or pasta or something BAD looks REALLY GOOD=fall off wagon...start over.  Rinse & Repeat.

She goes...hmmm...seems like you have taught your body that if it just holds onto the weight for a few days you will quit.  Whaaahuh??  

Well, now...dammit that makes sense.  Duh!  Well, imma bout to pimp slap this metabolism and I am committed to my 31 better just give it up!

I am not going to post my daily food - I figured out a way to save in on my PC (I am OCD and was posting it here so that I would be sure to have the detail when archives the detail and I only have the summary)!

Here's where I sit on VLCD12:

Lbs Lost Total Lost
Day 1 4/15/2013 0
Day 2 4/16/2013 -2 -2
Day 3 4/17/2013 -2.1 -4.1
Day 4 4/18/2013 -1 -5.1
Day 5 4/19/2013 -0.9 -6
Day 6 4/20/2013 -1.1 -7.1
Day 7 4/21/2013 0.3 -6.8
Day 8 4/22/2013 -0.4 -7.2
Day 9 4/23/2013 0.5 -6.7
Day 10 4/24/2013 -1.2 -7.9
Day 11 4/25/2013 -0.8 -8.7
Day 12 4/26/2013 -0.2 -8.9

YTD - on my scale, I am down 15lbs!  Yeah!!

This is on my trusty withings scale...I am down 11 on the Dr's scale.  Suddenly, I like that scale better. 

Rando thought of the day:

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Another NSV Linkup!

Yes, it's that time again!!  

Love reading KatieJ's blog and joining her and Lex for the weekly NSV!!


I'm feeling great and am really in the groove with my new changes.  I don't freak out about going out to eat or feeling like I can't manage myself unless I am sequestered in my house (ok, I do but not out of control)!

I have two things that come to mind this week:

1)I actually went shopping!  For me, that sounds just ridic but I cannot tell you the last time I went shopping for clothes.  I have been wearing my fat clothes over and over and over.  When you are hating how you look and feeling like jabba the hut, shopping sucks ass.  I bought several tops that I knew I could still wear when I get 20+ lbs smaller and a maxi dress at the Gap that was freaking on sale!!  $23!  Have no idea why it is $55 on sale online but whatev...this dress is like wearing your pj's but great when working at home or slepping on the weekend!

2)I have an amazing sense of self control right now...I have had a few glasses of wine but I don't feel like I want to have another...ok, and maybe another.  I realize this makes me sound like a total alcoholic BUT I have routinely been having 2-3 glasses of wine and not even thinking about it.  Same goes with food.  I went out for dinner with my parents and had my cup of soup and side salad and felt fine.  UNTIL, they ordered QUESO AND CHIPS!  Are you shitting me right now?  I almost throat punched my husband.  But, I did not eat a single chip.  Queso is my kyptonite.  Just sayin.

Have a great week!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Get your crazy under control

Is it bad if one of your friends and said "You seriously need to get your crazy under control" when I shared my new diet "scheme"....I wouldn't have mentioned it save for the fact that I look really odd with what I am is all healthy but decidedly different than most!  :-)

Haven't decided how I feel about that quite yet (if anything!) but on I go.  I committed to the 30 days and I am not looking back!  I have no idea if it worked or what, but I did a detox bath last night before I went to bed.  It was amazeballs and I slept like a baby...felt GREAT when I woke up!

Yesterday looked like:

Results VLCD D9 = -1.2lbs - 
Total - -7.9 Lost
YTD Loss = 13.9lbs

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I stabbed myself...on purpose....

Today was the first day I had to put on the big girl panties and inject myself. Can you say skerrd shitless?  I was but - I did it!  Ended up being totally no big deal...I have enough of abdominal fat that I can grab it and pinch it...when that goes....uhhh....problem.  Anyways, I am feeling pretty proud of myself!  I am a total needle-phob so that shows my commitment (or new level of insanity!)

Interestingly, I have told VERY few people what I am doing.  Chalk it up to not wanting them to judge my level of cray or not wanting people to know if I fail...I dunno.  Anyways, it's kinda my personal secret right now.  :-)  

Yesterday looked like:

Results VLCD D8 = +.5lbs - WTF!?!
Total - -6.7 Lost
YTD Loss = 12.7lbs

I felt sooooo sure that I was down again but apparently I am in a mini stall...was supposed to have TOM Sunday but no.  I have been perfectly sitting in my calorie range so after today, I will whack my guilty pleasure of one glass of wine with dinner.  The nurse said it would be no problem but that is the ONLY thing it could be if tomorrow doesnt shake loose.

Sticking to the plan even if the scale pimped slapped me today.  I can certainly tell in my clothes the inches are coming off...the pants I could not button and breathe a week ago Thursday are more than comfy and loose in the waist.


Monday, April 22, 2013

HCG VLCD Day 7 & Week 1 Recap

Happy Monday!!  I was super pumped to get up and head back to the Dr for my weekly checkup!

But yesterday looked like:

I weighed before I went and it showed:

Results VLCD D7 = -.4lbs
Total - -7.2 Lost
YTD Loss = 13.2lbs

...not what I had hoped for but hey, I will take it!  I would typically gain several lbs after eating and drinking with reckless abandon!!  But, overall I felt very much in control and not too tempted on anything except indulging in adult beverages when everyone else was.  I caved but didnt blow of the rails! Success!

Anyhoo, on to the Dr.  They reviewed my blood work up - all was good except my platelet count was high (have been fighting off a cold).  My cholesterol was a little high as well - perplexed me since I have NEVER had that but 215 was not too ridiculous...They will check everything again at the one month mark.

Weighed in there and they showed a 9lb loss.  Whaaaa???  I don't get it but there scale is surely better than mine (or we will just say that!).  It is a contraption that looks like it weighs 100lbs so we will go with that!

Got my B12 shot and my supply of injectible HCG for the next 23 days.  Little nervous about that but am so happy with how I am doing thus far!

Looking forward to a great week!

HCG VLCD Day 5-6 & Weekend Recap

Very busy!!  Heading over to Bama for A-Day weekend! Only in Tuscaloosa can you get 78,000 people to go to a scrimmage match!

Nick Saban sighting!!  Do you totally see this nutjob that ran in front of my shot?  Really??  Rude!

Barrett Jones was there signing autographs...look for him in the NFL Draft - he should have a great career ahead of him...AND he was super nice signing all kinds of stuff for kids and taking time with the crowd.

We had a great weekend visiting with my son and his friends....even though I was SUPER nervous about eating out for THREE STRAIGHT DAYS.  

I was super diligent, took my withings scale with me and tracked every single thing that I ate.

Here are the deets:

Day 5:

Results VLCD D5 = -1.1lbs
Total - -7.1 Lost
YTD Loss = 13.1lbs

DAY 6:

Yeah - Bad habits came to visit...wasnt as bad as I previously would have done but 3 glasses on wine (ok, it was over the course of 15 hrs but I should NOT have done it and KNEW that was GOING to show...) But, hey....we had a GREAT time!

Results VLCD D6 = +.3lbs (tots called it).
Total - -6.8 Lost
YTD Loss = 12.8lbs

Friday, April 19, 2013

NSV Link Up

It's that time again!

Joining in on the NSV with Lex and KTJ!


This has been a VERY challenging time for me professionally and personally...BUT...for the first time in a LONG time, I feel in control.  My last few years can pretty much be summed up by being out of control....eating too much, drinking too much amazing wine, career changes, personal family problems....

I have been on a ever ending carousel ride...I am feeling a sense of control...I am white knuckling through it but I like it!  

HCG VLCD Day 4 Recap

Today was CRAZY!!  Had meetings downtown then had to run back to take my nieces to Taylor Swift!

Very long boring story short, I find myself in the food court at the venue with absolute shit food.  There was absolutely NOTHING to eat - for me anyways.  Let's see, hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, french fries, chicken fingers, chicken and waffles....uhhh....NO.  No.

So, I was going down the road of not eating at all but then saw a lone (empty) stand with turkey breast burgers.  Ate half and was on my way.  I wanted a glass of wine BAD but didn't go there.  

The day looked like:

Doubt the calories are correct for the turkey burger so I'm guessing I was pretty close to 500 end of day.

Results VLCD D4 = -.9lbs
Total - -6 Lost
YTD Loss = 12lbs

Bummed I didn't lose more - AGAIN!!  Really focused on not screwing up my progress this week while I am out of town this weekend.  Should be quite the challenge but I am feeling good about it!  And scared...  

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Finish the Sentence Link-Up

Joining the Linkup with Jake and Holly!!  Love both of their blogs!


1. I laughed so hard I cried when... I saw this.  There are no words.  

2. My high school... was super small and forgettable.  Didn't keep in contact with anyone.  

3. It really pisses me off... when people are mean.  Mean people suck. Oh and rude.  They suck too.  Oh, and people constantly bitch and complain.  Deal with it!  Ok, I will stop.

4. In ten years... I will be officially old as shit. Stop.the.clock!

5. If I could erase one thing...It would be all of the ridiculous posts my son at college drunk posts of facebook that horrify me upon waking to see what his fraternity was up to last night.

6. In 1999...  I partied with Prince like it was 1999.  For realz.  I tore that album up!

7. Honestly... I wish I was able to have more children.  I sometimes think about adopting or fostering...

8.  To me, Sushi... is amazeballs and I could eat it every day.  Carb Lover's Unite!  Not very frequently can you eat crap loads of white rice and act all healthy!

9. Someone really needs to invent... a snore blanket so I do not seriously contemplate shoving a sock in my husbands pie hole when I am trying to go to sleep.

10. The first time I drank alcohol... I was in high school...promptly came home and threw up in the kitchen sink.  Got busted cause my marine dad was smart enough to know I didn't have a migraine. 

11. The one question I would ask God'em I doin?  How can I do better? 
12. Lindsay Lohan... just don't.  She needs to just go away.  May 2nd rehab is not nearly close enough.

HCG VLCD Day 3 Recap

Super pumped going into today but have a cray cray day or two ahead!  I was up and out early this morning and have to take a customer to lunch today.  EEEEk!  Havent figured that one out yet but guess I can find a grilled chicken salad about anywhere these days....and will take my dressing but I am still uber nervous since 500 cals per day doesnt give you much room for error.

I slept WAY better last night and am not feeling as jittery - good!  I had a business lunch and was freaking trying to figure out what to eat...then they ordered me a glass of wine when I went to the restroom.  Awesome.  I sipped some and estimated 3oz but don't think I had that much.  

Today ended up looking like:

Results VLCD D3 = -1lbs
Total - -5.1 Lost

Bummed I didn't lose more but wasn't as good about drinking my water.  Will do better today...but have to eat out again today as I am taking my nieces to Taylor Swift this evening.  Arghhh!!  Guess I am going to have to figure out how to do this while travelling since I am out of town all weekend as well.

Peace out!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

HCG VLCD Day 2 Recap

Felt better today but didnt sleep well...appetite suppressant or the HCG had me feeling wired and unable to get into a deep sleep.  They warned me about this and said I should adjust in 3-4 days.  Lord, I hope so...was draggin today for realz.

Today looked like:

No wine for me...worried I might have overdone the carbs totally might be my imagination but I honestly felt like the waist of my pants were noticeably smaller this morning....

Results VLCD D2 = -2.1lbs
Total - -4.1 Lost

Amazing part - scale says all weight lost is fat and not lean muscle mass... So excited to see where I will be after my first week!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

HCG VLCD Day 1 Recap

I felt kind of odd all day and pretty jittery but hunger scale at a ZERO.  If there was LESS than a zero, that's where I'd be.  Basically had to choke down the food that I did.

Here's what yesterday looked like..

I thought having a glass of wine in the hot tub sounded amazeballs...made me feel like total shit and I won't do that again.

Result = -2lbs.  Solid start!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Extreme times, extreme measures...

Over the weekend, I finally hit my "I am sick and tired of being out of shape" low point.  I'm not sure why - I keep looking at the calendar and realizing my goal of going on vacation and not running from the camera, sitting on the beach covered up in a mumu is slipping away.  

I scheduled an appt on Saturday with a medically supervised weight loss clinic seriously 1 mile from my front door.  I looked them up on the web and once I saw they support pharmaceutical HCG - I decided.  I have lost and gained the same damn 10 lbs all freaking year.  Enough - I don't care WHAT I have to do...I am doing this for myself.  I didn't even tell my husband.

My appt was this morning.  They took me through a variety of should go to show desperation that I am actually going to do daily injections of HCG.  I HATE needles but I cannot keep doing what I am doing. I research weight loss methods like crazy so I knew the background behind HCG (it has been around since the 50's and is definitely not new or trendy).  I guess between the requirement to be under a Doctor's care, the expense and the fact that this is HARD and requires a VERY low calorie diet (500 calories) = less popular.  They said I can expect to lose between 25-35 lbs during this 30 day round.  Apparently, I have the body type that generally reacts very well to HCG (i.e.  pear).  I honestly cannot wrap my head around losing that much weight in a month.  

I know a lot of people DO not agree with this path but given that I lost a significant amount of weight about 10 years ago and kept it off for years...I know I can do it again.  Once I am at goal I will draw a "line in the sand" to help keep me in check.  I am not sure how many people I will even tell because at the end of the day, I feel embarrassed that I can't get my shit together on my own and that I need help.  

So here's what they did today.  They did a full blood workup (results to follow), weighed me, measured me, and then put me on this machine that was the most amazing thing I have seen in awhile.

After a minute or so you get one of these...for the record, this is from their website and is not my report.  ;)

It shows you exactly where you fat stores are so they can accurately tell each visit where you are losing the fat and ensure you are not losing muscle.  Trivia - I have a disgusting amount of fat and it says I have 7% MORE body fat % (NOT LBS) than my withings scale showed.  Throat punch!

So - I got a Lipo/B12 shot and my first hcg shot today.  They also gave me an appetite suppressant to use if I need it.  So, here I go for a 30 day round.  The original protocol supported a 40 day round but they do not allow that.  I got back next Monday and will get my 23 day supply and go to daily injections.  I wish I would have asked why I can't just do an injection every week when I go for a check up and I didnt think about it.

I told my husband after.  He asked me why I didnt tell him and was very supportive when I told him I was embarrassed and feeling defeated since I haven't been able to do it on my own.  He said "How can I best support you"...Wow.  Made my day.

I feel pretty jittery today - I have done B12 shots before in support of weight loss so I expected that.  Not hungry at all but made myself eat a spinach salad with 2 oz of grilled chicken.

Hindsight, I picked a crappy week to start (KICKING myself that I didnt do this last month) but I will deal.  I am swinging between thoughts of excitement and that this might be the craziest thing I have ever done.  Remains to be seen.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Fell off the blogging bandwagon....

Last oral surgery out of the way (I HOPE!!!) - back in my routine and have 45 days til vacation to get my crap together!  Wish I could go back to my January self and slap some sense into me...but it is what it - 

Good news is that I am only 1.6lbs up after my last 5 Day Fast Start...thanks to Dr Pain.  

Ok, that is not his real name but if you describe "moderate discomfort" with what he inflicted on me??  Really?  Just got the packing out and still scared to eat most, yeah...well.  Thanks for that.

One other random thought - Why the F do they not believe you when you say you have bad veins...WHY? Do they think I make this shit  up?  I told 'em, hubs told 'em...they patted me on the head and said "we got it".  FINALLY, after 7 attempts and digging for one they asked which one usually holds an IV...they actually argued with me since they don't like to go for the hands for some odd reason...on a side note, that conscious sedation is some good shit...I recommend it.

So - happy spring!! Two weeks later both my arms and hand still look like...pretty huh?